-A Firm Foundation: What Every Family Needs
A Firm Foundation:
What Every Family Needs
“Nevertheless, God’s solid foundation stands firm, sealed with this inscription: ‘The Lord knows those who are His’” (2 Timothy 2:19).
The old quip, “God gives parents children to help them (the parents) grow up” has more validity than we like to admit. It is often the case that men and women who become husbands and wives do not concern themselves with spiritual matters until children enter the scene. Then, out of a sense of responsibility as parents, they begin to be more serious about God, faith and spiritual groundedness.
About ten years ago Newsweek pointed out this fact with regard to the “Baby Boomer Generation.” In an article entitled, “And The Children Shall Lead Them: Young Americans Return To God” (Dec. 17, ’90), sociologist Wade Clark Roof noted that the largest group of returnees to church were married couples with children. He observed that “without a child to lead them, most of the 60s generation would still be spending Sabbath morning in bed.”
Ten years later, the additional prompt of parents trying to raise children in an “X” rated world raises the age-old question: “What makes a healthy family and gives it security and stability in the face of all the pressures that are constantly trying to destroy it?” The answer, though complex and difficult, still involves starting with a solid foundation. And for the Christian family that foundation is provided by God.
The Building Blocks Of A Firm Foundation
The Bible typically uses the word house to refer to family. For example, Hebrews 3:1-6 says that as believers we are “God’s house” meaning that we are members of the family of God. Every house, and therefore every family, requires a solid foundation in order to be stable, secure and strong. Let’s look at three building blocks that God provides as gifts to help us build a firm foundation in our families.
1. A Personal Relationship With God Through Jesus Christ
The first version of Man’s creation, in Genesis 1:26-28, depicts the most important relationship, known to man – the relationship between God and man: “So God created man in His own image, in the image of God created He him: male and female created He them.” In other words, each of us as persons reflects an aspect of God’s image and who God is.
Consequently, the best gift you can give your spouse and your children is a healthy, growing, personal relationship with God through Jesus Christ. It is because of this verse that I, as a marriage counselor, can be hopeful for every marriage because I know that in God there are no incompatible parts. If each partner strives to reflect God’s image to his or her spouse, the likelihood of resolving any difficulties is high.
The New Testament speaks of our being created in God’s image in terms of developing our “Christ-likeness” – being a new creation in Christ (2 Cor. 5:17), and putting on a “new nature” or “new self” (Eph. 4:22-24; Col. 3:1-17). No doubt there are always struggles in living up to and developing our new nature as noted in Romans 7:14-25. But, if we strive as individuals to grow in and act out our new self rather than our old self, our marriage will be solid and our family secure.
Most problems that occur in marriages and families can be traced directly to the characteristics of the old nature that are being manifested in the individuals who are interacting as persons, partners or parents.
As each couple, working together as one person, strives to know the Lord and be Christlike, the relating dynamics in the marriage and the family take on overtones and characteristics of the One who is being emulated. As such, two building blocks or solid footings are provided for the foundation of the family.
You might ask, “What about single parent families or marriages where one partner is not a believer?” The foundation remains solid because in the first case God steps in to be “a father to the fatherless and a defender of widows” (Ps. 65:5 niv). He “sustains the fatherless and the widow” (Ps. 146:9) supplying the resources of the missing partner. In the second case, God’s Word assures us that the believing partner sanctifies the marriage and the family (1 Cor. 7:12-14). So the foundation provided by a personal relationship with God through Jesus Christ retains its resilience in spite of being alone as a parent or alone in your faith.
2. A Christ-Centered Marriage
The second version of the creation of man, in Genesis 2:18-25, supplies the second most important relationship known to man – the marriage relationship. After noting that it was “not good” for the man to be alone, God created a suitable companion for him. When Eve was presented to Adam, he proclaimed the nature and importance of the marriage relationship: “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman for she was taken out of man. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and they will become one flesh” (Gen. 2:23-24). The second gift of God to a strong family foundation is the marriage relationship.
The elements of this building block are broken down by Solomon in Ecclesiastes 4:8-12. There he proclaims that “two are better than one” for four reasons. First, they can pool their resources, work together and be more productive: “They have a good return for their labor.” Second, they can help each other: “If one falls down, his friend can help him up.” Third, they give each other warmth and affection: “How can one keep warm alone?” And fourth, they can stand together against attack: “Two can defend themselves.”
All these elements supply resources that give a marriage and family a solid footing, but the real security is alluded to in the final statement: “A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” All at once two become three. How can that be? One answer might be the simple explanation that 1+1=3 because you have two individuals plus their relationship making up three entities in the whole. However, the spiritual perspective is that the third strand is God’s covenant partnership where He not only consecrates the marriage, but works in it as a covenant partner to preserve it and help it grow.
It is not a coincidence that Christ’s first miracle occurs at a wedding (Jn. 2:1-10). Having a Christ-centered marriage is the only sure way to have the “best wine” in the marriage not just at the beginning but throughout your life together.
3. A House Built On A Rock: A Faith-Centered Family
Jesus said, “Everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew against the house; yet it did not fall because it had its foundation on the rock” (Mt. 7:24-25). What more apt description could be given as to the importance of a family being built on faith in Jesus Christ, the Rock of our salvation. The key here, however, is not the concept but the choice and the commitment. Faith-centered families require a conscious choice and a sustained effort to put the Lord in the forefront of the family. It will not just happen naturally or on its own.
The challenge of Joshua to the children of Israel clearly establishes this fact. As he concluded his task of leading the house of Israel into the Promised Land, he stood before them and issued this challenge: “Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve … But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord” (Josh. 24:15). That type of commitment is critical to claiming this building block for the foundation of your family. It is a faith-based decision that must be made by the parents in order for it to pay dividends in the family.
A prime example of a house (family) that shifted to a firm foundation is the case of the Philippian jailer in Acts 16:30-34. In response to his question, “What must I do to be saved?” Paul said, “Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved – you and your house.” This man apparently had his house in order and when faith in Christ was added, the whole family benefitted. We read that he and his family were baptized and that “the whole family was filled with joy because they had come to believe in God.” The consequence in this case was not only salvation but a firm foundation for the family.
A Firm Foundation Assured
How important is a solid spiritual foundation in our families today? Let me answer with God’s own words: “Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain” (Ps. 127:1). God is the architect, Christ is the foundation, and the Holy Spirit is the building contractor in a Christian family.
Let me close with a warning and a promise. The warning is that of Proverbs 11:29 which states that “he who brings trouble on his own house will inherit only wind.” If you do not act to establish a firm foundation built with the building blocks of a personal relationship with God through Jesus Christ – a Christ-centered marriage and a faith-centered family – you will risk losing it all. If, however, you strive to honor the Lord in your life, your marriage and your family, you will garner the promise of 2 Timothy 2:19: “God’s solid foundation stands firm, sealed with this inscription: ‘The Lord knows those who are His.’”
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: James P. Trotzer has a Ph.D. in psychology and has served as administrator and clinician at a Christian counseling center in New Hampshire, USA. He is the author of Renewing The Mind: Meditations For Mental Health.
With permission to publish by: Sam Hadley, Grace & Truth, 210 Chestnut St., Danville, IL., USA.
Website: www.gtpress.org
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